An ode to my Mother
mom on a family trip to France 2009, before her strokes
I’m tempted to speak of Micheline in present tense, because even though she’s no longer living, none of what my mom brought into this world will leave with her. What she brought she’s left with each of us courageous enough to work with the gifts she’s left us with, bold enough to carry on her legacy. What she brought is the legacy of how to really, truly, fully live. How to live despite it all, to live in spite of heartbreak, in spite of suffering, in spite of having a life that started out and ended in pretty intolerable ways. My mom’s way of living is the kind of way of being in the world, that when you open to it, it lets in deep humanity, immense capacity for joy, and a type of Carpe diem, a seizing of the day that is ignited by the fertile friction of knowing and being with the fact that life isn’t always roses and rainbows.
Many of you know my mom for her larger than life personality, her red fingernailed fingers snapping to music, giant radiant smile framed by brightly painted lips, expressively, singing, laughing, speaking in eight languages, gold, jewelry, bracelets, anointing her delicate wrists, a clatter of precious metal that once adorned the wrist of her Moroccan, mother Haciba, bracelets that she’d hoist higher on her arms while she crocheted, held her grandchildren, painted, wrote her rabinical papers, shaped spice meatballs, baked maoda - she loved to feed people, to drink red wine (Chateau neuf de pap), she loved a dirty joke, a laughing audience. She once won an award for that - a trophy for comedic speech - it sat a top glass shelf, a shelf nobody but her interacted with much, a shelf she cleaned at least once a week … her home was “Micheline clean” you could eat off any surface even the floor, she would hand mop every night, bum backing up in the air as she went.
She was a character an often ostentatious one at that - perfume and presence filling up a room, joy on full blast, and sometimes rage too or sorrow, she knew how to laugh til she cried and cry in a way that soften even the hardest of hearts. She was fully expressed the way a tree in springtime is, unfiltered, real, life force flowing forth in all the ways. In these last 13 years in her striken state, in a silence louder than anything I have known, I had been looking at the meaning in her life, especially the stories left untold and for the parts of her life that were in suffering, the parts of her life I can look upon as so unfair.
What I can see of that now is the way she chose to live (and the courage she had to always live with an open heart, to not let any part of her life force be held back, dulled down, white washed, quieted ) allowed Micheline to fully show up for each and every moment. To live in full color. To live big. To love deep.
And I see that now and I can see it going forward. Now that she has left her body, it is her life force that lives on. The love she so willingly and generously shared is reflected in each and every heart she touched. Each and every one of you. So my hope today is to encourage you to let her live on through you, to be bold, to love big, to honor Micheline in all the ways she brightened the world and go forth and shine just like she still is. Let’s hold each other in this shine, this warmth on this cold day as we feel bother her absence and her presence and let’s raise a glass of red wine to my brilliant mother and for the fire inside that she has warmed our hearts and our lives with. We love you mama. We send you off to a shore of starlight, ride this river of tears that springs forth from the endless well of love we have for you. We will never forget you, I promise.
Mom’s Obituary (a family effort, mostly written by my sister Erika Burke Rossa)
Micheline Burke (née Miriam Avshalom)
June 17, 1943 – January 19, 2025
Micheline Burke, born Miriam Avshalom / Emsellem on June 17, 1943, in Fez, Morocco, to Joseph and Haciba Emsellem, passed away peacefully on January 19, 2025 held by loved ones. Her family immigrated to Israel in 1948, where she later attended the University of Tel Aviv and studied linguistics and English literature.
She went to University in Paris, France then in 1967, Micheline moved to the United States and began teaching Hebrew at the National University in Washington, D.C. She met Michael John Burke at a New Year’s Eve party in D.C., and they married in 1970.
Micheline was a devoted mother and is survived by her daughters: Erika Burke Rossa (husband Steve; children Mia and Vincent) and Nicole Burke (husband Ryan Miller; children Miela and Cedrus), as well as her husband Michael John Burke, brother Ury Emsellem (sister in law Toby, nephew Drew, and niece Chelsea). She was preceded in death by her brother Moshe and nephew Alex. She also was a dear friend to many and cultivated and maintained relationships with a wide array of friends from around the globe.
A passionate educator and world traveler, Micheline served as director of youth programming and Hebrew teacher at Temple Judea and Heschel Day School in Los Angeles, CA. She served her community from 1991-2010 as the principal of Temple Beth Rishon’s Hebrew School in Wyckoff, NJ. During the 1980s, Micheline and her family lived in Hong Kong and Taiwan, where she launched a successful accessory business, as well as served as head of the youth programming at the Jewish Synagogues in both Hong Kong and Taiwan. She also served as Head of the English Department at Minchuan College in Taipei and was well loved and respected by her students and colleagues.
Fluent in seven languages (and bits and pieces of several others), Micheline was a lively conversationalist and a true people person. She was a real bon vivant and an accomplished artist, designer, cook, and loving grandmother (“Safta”). She was also know for her red nails and lipstick and love of good fashion, good times and good jokes. In 2014, she achieved her lifelong dream of becoming a Rabbi after being ordained by the Academy of Jewish Religion in Yonkers, NY.
After enduring strokes starting in 2011, Micheline relocated to Vermont in 2012, then to New York City in 2015 before returning to Rutland, VT, in 2020 - moving between to be near both her daughters and beloved grandchildren.
We buried mom on January 21st in Pittsford, Vermont.