Summer Switch Up and Listening to the Deeper Calls
On this wild and turning path, I’ve recently found myself becoming more and more busy with the best things in life - belly laughs, beloveds, moon gazing, tending home and garden to name a few. It’s been a process of trust to let in such goodness and release the worry of showing up for work in the way that I am wired to feel I should. There is a loosening happening and with that a deeper integrity, a more cohesive dance with all that wants to come through and weave in.
The hardwired work ethic narrative in me has been kicking and screaming, but in these last few weeks, as my husband has started a new full-time job, I’ve sat her (that shaming, guilting, all-too-ambitious inner voice) down gently and fed her homemade garden pesto and honey-sweetened hibiscus sun tea. I’ve told her I need to tend to my toddler and hear what my ten year old’s dream was that morning. I’ll get to her later.
It’s been uncomfortable, but I know it’s right by the way I sleep at night and the way my whole being lights up when my kids tell a joke or my husband comes home from work. When I can say YES to having a meal with a friend, or to staying up late to watch the clouds circle the moon, and when I feel absolutely nourished and centered when I do show up to meet with clients, students and collaborators.
This is not the way we are taught. But this is what I’m learning and have the privilege to walk with. It’s a different walk with access altogether. One that is switching up priorities and uprooting notions of what security and even abundance means. Like, I might not have the money to go out to that fancy restaurant nor buy new shoes, but I do have the time to be with those I love, the skills to grow nutrient-dense food and mend my broken sandals… and this is coming to feel like the truest meaning of abundance.
As I go further into the process of unlearning of what modern day society has taught me, I am studying ever more closely with the wise ones from the Natural world. Hummingbird and spider have been such deep teachers as of late. The hummingbird knows what it is to switch direction mid-flight, to follow the brightest color that catches her eye, to be on the sweet path of nourishment and hum. The spider spins a web of connection and knows both the delicate balance and the strength needed to create sustaining beauty that bridges divides.
I could go on, in fact I’d love to tell you more! but I need to go catch a dance party in my kitchen that my daughter just kicked off. So, I’ll wrap up by saying I might not be showing up on social media nor launching the next offering until the kids are back in school, but I am here. I am here holding a container from a place of fullness. I am here and also drawing in my threads for my offerings as I allow myself to switch directions towards deep dreaming and that more beautiful thing on the horizon.